Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
