"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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