i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
