Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
