He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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