thus making me awesome and them whores
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
