can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
