grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
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