I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
