i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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