If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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