Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
