Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
