thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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