he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
