Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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