You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
