Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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