Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
