It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
