plz talk dirty to me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
