Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
