I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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