Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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