I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
