Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
