ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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