New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
