pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
