people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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