your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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