so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
