i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
