But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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