dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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