woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
