your room smells of hookers.
And success
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
