Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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