oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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