You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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