.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
