Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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