We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
