Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Drake has all the answers
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
