Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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