Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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