before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
