Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize