lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
