Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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