you would pick up someone in the library
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
two words...techno handjob
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
