Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
