Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
