And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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