dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
