Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
