I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
