Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize