i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
