I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
